mommy maverick

Greetings, Mom-Mavs. It’s time to talk identity. Mom-Mavs have three unique identities – mommy, maverick and me (the Three Ms). The mommy portion of our identity is the one where we put our children first and take care of the needs of the home. The maverick portion is where we put our employer first and take care of business. And the me portion is where we put ourselves first, taking care of our own needs and nurturing our relationships with others.

The amount of time and energy Mom-Mavs put into each identity shifts depending on what stage they are at in motherhood and in their career. It’s important that Mom-Mavs be aware of the identity dilemma that results from constantly having to shift between the three M identities.  Mom-Mavs often lack the tools to effectively navigate the identity dilemma and this very quickly leads to mom guilt, stress, burnout, disconnect – the list goes on.

When I had my first child, I definitely felt the identity dilemma take effect though at the time I could not grasp or put into words what I was experiencing. After having devoted so much time to the maverick and me identities in my early and mid-twenties, I found myself having to fit in a completely new identity as a mom. How would this new identity fit in? Well, as you know, women have no choice but to adjust after having a child. So, that’s what I did – I adjusted. During maternity leave, most of my eggs were in the mommy basket; maverick took a back seat, and there was still some time being devoted to the me bucket. When I returned to work, the maverick and mom identities were neck and neck, and the me faded into the distance. I still, however, was able to find some time for myself, which included spending quality time with my husband. While some days were more challenging than others, I just accepted the struggle as my new reality.

And while having one child is definitely a challenge, it wasn’t until after having my second child that I really struggled with the identity dilemma. While still carrying the weight of my initial struggles, my second child caused my identity to take a major shift into the mommy category. At the same time, I received a promotion at work which required a ton of energy in the maverick category. There was little to no time left for me and my relationships. I felt so disconnected from myself and would often think – who am I? what are my interests? will my body ever look the same? I feel different. I look different. Am I enough?  My time and energy were being pulled in so many different directions that I couldn’t give 100% of myself to any area in my life. I started to feel like I was failing as a mother, an employee, and a spouse. The pressure to be all things to all people was crippling. The mental load was heavy. I felt guilty even thinking about doing anything under the me category. My to-do list continued to grow. I contemplated quitting my job. The guilt, stress, and pressure continued to build when I finally – you guessed it – burned out.

It was at this low point in my life that I realized I had two options – I could either continue down this daunting path and crash & burn, or, I could search for solutions that would lead me to becoming the best version of myself for my family, my employer, and me. I chose the latter.

This is what inevitably inspired me to create Mommy Maverick. Understanding the identity dilemma and having the tools to navigate it are the foundation for achieving success as a Mom-Mav. I have developed the necessary tools to help Mom-Mavs like you embrace your identities and kick ass as a mom and as a professional, without losing yourself. Being a working mom doesn’t have to be so hard, and I’m here to show you the way. Let’s get started.